The Thief of Joy

Galatians 6:4-5 “But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.” (NKJV)

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Pastor Steven Furtick and the way in which he conveys his messages to his audience. I am currently reading his book Crash the Chatterbox: Hearing God’s Voice Above All Others. Although I am only on chapter 4, it has already spoken to me on so many levels.

At the beginning of each chapter are these amazing “thought bubbles”. They include a quote that is thought-provoking and insightful. The “thought bubble” at the beginning of chapter 3 vividly captured my attention. It stated, “ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS WE STRUGGLE WITH INSECURITY: WE’RE COMPARING OUR BEHIND-THE-SCENES WITH EVERYBODY ELSE’S HIGHLIGHT REEL.” As I was on the treadmill, I paused my workout to take a picture of it because it was so powerful.

This “thought bubble” segued into chapter 3 which is entitled “God Likes Me Too”. Before even reading the chapter, this hit home for me. I have been in an immense funk lately. I have honestly felt like God has forgotten about me. Furtick pointed out exactly how I’ve been feeling when he spoke of the effects of what Steven Pressfield called “the Resistance” in his book The War of Art. I won’t summarize the entire paragraph, but I’ll take a few words from it so that you have an idea of how I’ve been feeling: misery, restless, bored, unsatisfied, unloved, unlovable, disgusted, hate. Now think of how harsh these words are and imagine actually feeling all of these things and not being able to put your finger on the culprit. It is torment and pure hell. This has been my life for over a week. It wasn’t until today that I realized that I was staring at the culprit in the mirror.

Of course, the enemy has been playing a part in my torment, but God has given me the power to rebuke and renounce him so I am also to blame. Slowly, one bad thing after another began to happen and instead of bringing it to God I decided to deal with it on my own. As I tried to handle it, the devil began to place these thoughts in my mind: “You aren’t enough”, “You don’t have enough”, “You should be further along than you are”, and “How is anything great going to come from you?” Instead of stopping him dead in his tracks by affirming myself and who I am in God, I allowed myself to become a victim to his lies.

I began to allow myself to be tormented so much so that I did not see a way out. I then began to compare my life to the lives of others. I began to compare my “behind-the-scenes” to the “highlight reels” of others and I did not like what I saw. As I’ve aged, I’ve mentally craft this idea of where I “think” I should be in life. By this age, I should be living here and have my own home. By this age, I should be driving this type of car. By this age, I should have this amount saved and invested. I haven’t reached what I mentally crafted that I would by 27 and it bothered me. I allowed myself to become a victim to society’s views and the “picture-perfectness” of social media.

God has allowed me to accomplish some great and amazing things in my lifetime and here I am comparing myself to others. Feeling as if there is a “lack thereof” or void in my life. Wondering why or how this person received this opportunity and I did not. Allowing this comparison to utterly steal my joy. As one part of John 10:10 so eloquently states, “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.” I was allowing my joy to wholly be stolen from me because I was examining the work of others and not rejoicing in my own. I was observing the work that God was doing in the lives of those around me and not examining the great work that He has done and is still doing in my own life. I was not happy with my portion. I was coveting someone else’s load, not realizing that I was not yet equipped to carry it.

How great is our God??? He loves us so much that He will not give us things that He knows we are not ready for because He knows that it could literally destroy us. If you actually sit back and think about it, “How ready are you for those things you so desire? Will they bring you closer to God or move you further away from Him?” Here I am desiring a load, not knowing what that person endured for that load. Not even knowing if that load is for me. Thankfully, God knows what is best for me.

On the adverse, John 10:10 also beautifully states, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” Although the enemy comes to take life from us, God comes to give us life in a way that we could have never imagined: abundantly! The word abundant is defined as “existing or available in large quantities; plentiful”. God wants my life to be plentiful. He doesn’t want me to lack anything and wants to supply all of my needs; but how can I expect Him to supply all of my needs if I’m not happy with what I already have?

As I reflect on the above scripture and question, I feel a sense of shame. I have never been in need of anything because God has literally made a way to supply everything for me and I have the audacity to compare. The audacity to think that what God has for me at this present time isn’t enough when He alone is enough. In this moment, I had to pray for forgiveness of my doubt and thank Him for the promise of my today and my future.

Take a moment to reflect on all of the wonderful things that God has done in your life. I am sure that all of it outweighs those times of hardship. Ask Him to forgive you of your doubt and thank Him for the promise!

I know that life isn’t all butterflies and unicorns. Life is hard. It is trying and at times downright exhausting. God knows this as well. He knows that we will go through times of despair and desolation. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t need Him. God knew that I needed Him, but was waiting on me to choose Him over how I felt or what I thought. God is working on my “behind-the-scenes” daily and I know that it will be the greatest movie that my eyes have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. As He continues to work on me, I will rejoice in myself and the load that I have to carry.